As I see many teacher friends posting about the first day of school I am reminded that our teachers have a big transition ahead next week, too. As we worry about our children...entering a new class (or in our case a new school), wondering if the teacher will like them, worried that they won't have friends, planning lunches and trying to find shoes that are easy to get on and off, it is good to remember that our teachers are having similar thougths.

They, too, wonder if the... other kids will like them, they, too, worry about finding friends and colleagues, they are planning lessons for children they haven't even met, designing seating charts for personalities that might clash, or get along TOO well. They are facing 20 unknown little egos in all their wonderful diversity and backed by 40 or more anxious parents vying for attention and reassurance. And they too, are looking for a good pair of comfortable shoes!

These professional people with advanced degrees can seem so unflappable, confident, self-assured...because they have to be, for their students. But our teachers are people, too. And every September they start a new job...because each group of children is different. It's bound to cause a little anxiety, a little insecurity.

I am in awe of these amazing people who every September enter a room full of little strangers with all their foibles and insecurities and strenghts and joys and over the next 10 months grow them into a group, a unit, a class, friends. They teach math and writing and social studies, but they also teach manners and coping skills and behaviour management. They offer affection and solace and discpline and structure. They encourage and cajole. They share laughter and wipe away tears.

Teachers spend as much time with our children as we do and most of them love our kids almost as much as we do. So as we enjoy this last long weekend of the summer I am cognizant that the teachers who will mentor my children this year are probably not at the beach but at Scholar's Choice buying supplies. They are planning and dreaming and cutting and pasting, writing names on notebooks and sharpening pencils. And I am so very grateful.

Please remember to pray for and encourage our teachers as we all make this big transition back to routines and learning; classrooms and school buses. They have the hardest and the best job around!

Sometimes, it's just easier to things yourself. Sometimes, it's just faster, cleaner, more efficient. My mother was a do-it-yourselfer. Of course, this is how I ended up 22 years old with no idea how to cook a whole meal.
 
So, last night I was making a last minute stir fry and needed someone to stir while I chopped. Usually, that's my husband. Last night, I asked my son. And as he stirred the veggies in the pan I explained why I chop the carrots on an angle. I explained how to crush and dice garlic. I talked about which veggies take longer to cook and what order to put them into the pan. We talked spices. He was with me for about 10 minutes. He stirred and added salt and pepper and he listened.
 
Sometimes, it's just easier to do things yourself. But sometimes, we need to be the mentor, the teacher, the conduit of experience and knowledge. That kid was so proud to eat the dinner he helped make! And, I hope, he learned some things that will help him not starve down the road!

Childhood's fleeting joys.

I wrote this two years ago.  It becomes more true every day as time seems to accelerate and my children seem to grow exponentially. 

I am sitting here drinking my coffee wondering how it is that there are only ten days left of summer vacation. It has been a magical time of splash pads, wading pools, play dates, video games, books, cuddles, laughter and love.

I am going to miss my ragamuffin duo when they head off to school. Each year becomes more bittersweet. Next summer they will be older, more mature. Already my son has grown beyond the wading pool and McDonald's playland.

I wonder what "lasts" I have... experienced this summer without realizing it. I wonder when the excitement of playing at the park with mom will fade. I wonder when the magic will end.

Childhood is such a fleeting joy. One that we spend the rest of our lives trying to reclaim. I want my children to reflect back and know that I did my best to ensure every moment was filled with innocence, love, hugs and laughter. I want the sun and sand and warm breezes, the scraped knees and muddy rain boots of childhood to be the solid basis of a happy and fulfilling life.

And I want to savour these last few days with my children, cherishing who they are now and looking forward with anticipation to what they will become.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf3mRZ7SHu0

Safe in their beds....

One of the hardest things about parenting for me has been knowing when to step back and let go. It's especially hard with a kid whose needs and development are different. Is he ready to cross the street? Walk alone to a friend's house? Use the stove?

Each little decision feels dangerous and life changing. But we can't live from a place of fear. And the joy my son experiences when he pushes past his own anxiety to be independent and try something new expands my heart to breaking.

It is bittersweet, this growing up. A process of moving away and letting go that brings both a sense of loss and a sense of great accomplishment.

Creating confident and capable adults is a sacred trust for us as parents. But one that comes at the expense of making our hearts vulnerable. I love watching my "babies" grow up. But a part of me will always long for baby toes, baby smiles and sleeping angels, safe in their beds where no harm can come to them.

Happy Birthday!

I originally wrote this Facebook post two years ago.  Today my 'little' man is turning 12!  As I re-read these words this morning I realize that they have only become more true with the passing of time...Happy birthday baby boy!

Ten years ago today I became a mother. Ten years. So much has happened in a decade. It has been an amazing journey. My son has taught me so much about myself, about what's important in life, about the kind of parent and role model I want to be and about the true meaning of success and happiness and he has redefined the meaning of a life worth living.

So much of that day ten years ago is beginning to blur with the passage of time. Yet there is one moment that still stands... out in perfect clarity, not dulled by the years but always in perfect focus. My husband brought our new baby to me and laid him on my chest. I looked down, he looked up, and our eyes met for the first time, grey meeting the deepest blue. And I was lost, my heart hopelessly entangled with this precious little life I had helped to create, staring up at me as if he knew me, had known for me a thousand years, looking at me as if he had just found his way home.

The world defines my son as a 'special needs' kid. For us, he's just special. Full of laughter and fun. Smart. And since he's now 10, smart-a$$ sometimes, too. :-) His unique needs give him a unique perspective on the world, one that we are privileged to share and learn from. He loves deeply, feels deeply, hurts deeply and laughs from the very bottom of his soul. He is an amazing big brother, a good friend and a polite and courteous member of our community. I am so proud of the young man he is becoming.

I cannot image what the next ten years will bring (parents of teenagers please don't tell me...I'm not ready to know yet!) But I do know that I have no regrets about becoming a parent. I do know that nothing could have prepared me for the life altering changes children have brought to my life. And I know that nothing could every replace the love, joy, hope and blessing they continue to pour into our family.
 
I thank God each and every day for this little man who has graced our home and our lives for the past 10 years. I pray that I will live up to the great responsibility of being his mother. God is great, the works of his hand are wonderfully and fearfully made. My son is the living proof. Praise be to God. 

As long as their is light, there is hope....

I came across this picture on Facebook and I think it has an important message. 

Our culture today tells us that if people aren't a benefit to us, if they don't bring us joy, if they aren't positive and productive, then it's okay to rid your life of them.

But we all have times when we walk in darkness and I am grateful for those who did not abandon me in mine but offered to share their light.

And while I walk through this period of sunshine in my own life, I hope that I look for opportunities to share that light with those who are in the dark. Because as long as one of us has light, there is hope and there is a way!


Isaiah 9:2 The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. 3 You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy.

Redeeming Father's Day.

Father's Day is coming up this weekend...there are always mixed emotions for me. My dad died in 2000.  I miss him. I was always 'daddy's little girl'. We had a very close and special relationship. But I cannot let time, sentimentalism and wishful thinking allow me to make him into something he wasn't.

He was a difficult man. He had demons that he never conquered in this life. And his struggles impacted my life in ways that still resonate and cause ripples. The word father brings up feelings in me that are complex and conflicting.

However, I also know that my father came to know God, or I should say became reacquainted with God, in his final days and I find such peace and joy in picturing my father, such a wounded man in this life, whole and healed and restored, face to face with the living God. I take great comfort in knowing that we will meet again, and when we do, all those worldly problems will no longer come between us.

Father's Day also has another meaning for me because  I share my life with a man who is the father of MY children. And I am overwhelmed by the blessings he has brought not just to my life, but to that of our children.

Our children have a father who not only loves them to pieces, but respects them. They have a father who will not only gives them everything he can, but also teaches them to do for themselves.  He has been, is and I know will continue to be, a fine example for our children.

He is teaching our son what it means to be a man in this world. He is also teaching our daughter.

They will both grow up knowing that men can be strong without being dominant, filled with faith without being judgemental, committed and loyal without being a doormat. He is teaching them what it means to be loved in healthy and renewing ways.

This incredible man I married takes parenting so seriously. He considers it the most important job he will ever do. And yet, he brings such a sense of fun and silliness to our lives. He teaches us how to laugh at ourselves. He finds the ridiculous in the mundane. He takes us on a journey of laughter and joy that makes even the tough times bearable. His irreverent sense of humour is, I believe, one of God's great blessings to our family.

I am blessed beyond measure to share the job of 'parent' with this incredible man who has redeemed the role of 'father' for me in so many ways. I love you pieces, my beloved husband.

Happy Father's Day.